Lindsay (00:00)
If you are someone who wants a happier, more connected, ease-filled marriage, I want to tell you something today that most relationship advice will never say. And once you hear it, you won't be able to unhear it. So this has been on my heart for some time, and I really don't think it's talked about enough. Time is going to pass in our lives, period. This isn't optional. These are the facts. Six months from now is coming, so is a year.
So is five years from now, it is all coming. And the question that I have been sitting with is, time is passing, so who will you be while it does? I am Lindsay, this is loving with intention. Let's dive in, because this question can literally change your life and your marriage.
We are going deep and introspective today, and this has truly just been on my heart. So I was once in a really, really dark place in my relationship, and this question was something, one of many things that helped me out of it. And now, if you've been here before, you know that we have a thriving marriage, the kind of marriage that I never could have dreamed was possible for us. So I recently talked about this concept on my weekly momentum call.
Where I celebrate the individuals who choose to show up week after week, whether it is live or on the replay. They all want their marriages to improve. They know that time is passing no matter what they choose to do in that time, and they are doing the only thing within their power to improve their marriage, which is working on themselves. And when I'm working with individuals, both men and women.
Do many of them, wish that their spouse would join them in the process? Of course they do. And since we can't force anyone to do the work, they do have choices. They can wait until their spouse does want to work on things, which honestly maybe that day might never come.
They could also choose to leave their marriage. They could also choose to do nothing and stay feeling stuck and unhappy, or choose to learn, to heal, to grow, and to create the kind of marriage that they want, starting with them. In each of those scenarios that I just laid out, time is passing. For many people, leaving their marriage isn't what they actually want. So why not choose to go all in on you?
I recently had a client say, even if down the road we did get a divorce, which I don't think will happen, doing this work is gonna make me a better person. I'm gonna have the skills. I will have the tools. And I couldn't agree more. We have so much more power over our own happiness and the way that we experience our lives than we think. And of course, if you've been here before, you know that this podcast, Loving with Intention in General, focuses on how one person can change the dance in their marriage, even without their spouse on board.
I wouldn't have believed this if it wasn't for my own experience in this
And honestly, the individuals that I work with for months, they choose to show up, they choose to do the work with consistency. And I have the absolute delight and pleasure and joy of seeing that person change and grow through our time together. And it's not just me who sees it, it is their spouses who see it too. Their husbands, their wives, their relationships with their kids improved, their overall happiness in life, the way that they see the world changes.
And let me rewind there to their spouses seeing the change. It's not just that they see the change, their spouses start to change too without actively doing the work. These individuals change and it changes the dance. And just recently, another client was telling me that since he dove into the loving with intention world and started working on himself, they're in a dramatically different place than when he started.
And he was saying to me, if that's happened by now, that he can see so much more is possible.
Again, time is passing regardless, so who will you be during that time?
And let me just say it makes all the sense in the world when we don't choose to dive in and do the work. It really, really does. It can be uncomfortable, it can be frustrating, it can cost time, money, it can feel risky not to be able to see with 100% certainty what changes are going to come. And the patterns that we're in in our lives and in our marriages, they are such well-worn grooves. It's easier to stay in them even when we're miserable. So just imagine, just imagine, picture this.
You have really tall grass outside your house. It is literally up to your neck, but there's one skinny little path that leads to your car. You walk this path every single day, and you have been doing that for years. That is how that path got so worn in. It is easy, it is clear, it is laid out, you know exactly where your feet go, and that tall grass on either side of it, it's not just completely inconvenient.
It is also really freaking unpleasant to walk through. You don't know what's under your feet when you're in there. It's gonna scratch you up. It's gonna be slower, more frustrating. You might get partway and then have to change direction to get to where you want to go. So, of course, you take the Walmart path. Of course, you do. That is not weakness, that just makes sense. Nobody walks in neck high grass just for kicks. And here is what's also true that path, it only goes one place, it goes to the car.
Goes to the same seat, the same drive, every single day. And the work, the actual work of changing a marriage, showing up differently, learning and doing the things that actually create change, doing the uncomfortable stuff that stretches and tests you, that stuff, it's not on the well-worn path. It is out in the grass. It is messy. It costs you something to get through that, whether that is time, effort, money.
Intention. You are maybe gonna get metaphorically scratched up a little bit. You're not going to be able to see where you're going until you're a few steps in. And then even still, that route might change. It makes complete sense that most people stay on the well-worn path. And if you are on that path, I am not here to make you feel bad about that. I have been there too. I'm there in many places in my life and other things that I want to change. It makes sense. I am actually just here to ask you something else.
Is your current path taking you anywhere that you want to go in your marriage? Or is it just a place that your feet already know? Is it the easier path? The fact that you are here still listening to this, considering what I'm saying, I know that means you're at least sticking a foot out into that neck high grass today. Major change happens when we go all into the grass. I just pictured like fully stepping into the grass. Man, is it uncomfortable? It is so uncomfortable.
And that is where change happens. We go all in, we go all in with consistency with the right steps. And time is passing, anyways. You do have a choice. And I would love to help you take that first uncomfortable but totally aligned step today. And there's a few ways that you can do this depending on where you're at.
You can go to the show notes and grab my free love journey roadmap. That is my full free guide. You get to dive in with a personalized action plan. I totally recommend that if you haven't done that yet, it is a 17-page guide. My goodness, you get to dive in. Or maybe you wanna do my signature Be the Change workshop and launch yourself straight into the tall grass. That's in the show notes too. Or also you can find in the show notes Relationship Recharge, my self-paced program.
You will be guided there for nine weeks through that tall grass, through modules and videos, or you can reach out for private coaching at the time of this podcast, which is early August. I currently have two spots available for that. I don't often talk about all the ways to work with me, but there are many. Maybe I should talk about them more. They will be in the show notes. And I want to be so clear: this is not just about loving with intention and my love journey process. If you
Or somebody who listens to relationship podcasts, there's a good chance that you listen to a lot of different people, a lot of different coaches or therapists. Maybe you've seen another relationship program or expert that you really resonate with. Maybe today this is your nudge to dive in with them. I am all about spreading love ripples and men and women creating thriving relationships, however, you make that happen. I obviously believe so much in my process.
And the results that my clients see, they speak for themselves. And if this video nudges you into the tall grass in any way at all, that is freaking awesome. I am here cheering you on. As you can tell, I'm very passionate about this, as you know, if you've been here before. When I got a relationship coach all those years ago, it really was the fastest, most mind-blowing change that I had seen in our relationship. And things had been really, really bad between us. There is hope for things to change, but one thing I know is.
Time is passing and things are likely to stay the same or get worse if you don't step off that well-worn path. Just picture yourself, one year from now, you could be saying to yourself, I can't believe this is still my marriage. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Or you could be saying, I can't believe this is my marriage. I never imagined that things could have changed this much. You definitely have a choice and you have so got this.
So again, check out the show notes for all of those options. Feel free to reach out Lindsay at lovingwithintentioncoach.com if you want to chat more. There are so many ways to step into the tall grass. We just get to take that first step and then keep going. If you have been loving the podcast, if you could leave a five-star rating and review, it helps spread lovers in the world so the podcast gets into more hearts.
I would appreciate that so much. It also lets me know that you're loving the content. You keep coming back for more. And I'm always open to ideas, suggestions, anything that you want to hear. Thank you so much. I'm sending so much love into your day. And remember that nothing changes if nothing changes. So let's dip our whole leg. Let's just jump on into the tall grass and have a super intentional week. Bye.
